The Wreckoning

It's not a typo, asshole. I'm trying to be deep. Just go with it. I haven't done this in awhile, which is an understatement, I realize. Shit, since I rejoined society about three months ago I haven't done anything in awhile...except work. No need to qualify your snicker with a comment -- I know how absurd it sounds. I guess the main reason for my lack of postage can be summed up by the simple fact that I can only write when I'm drunk in the middle of the night, and I haven't been drunk in the middle of the night in quite some time. In short, the two-headed monster known as reality and responsibility is killing Drunken Capps.

Drunken Capps now survives only in short spurts of excellence these days. I was "keeping it real" by drinking every night straight through the first six weeks of this new job. After awhile though, I found myself placing a premium on being in bed before 11 o'clock. Without realizing it, I'd become just like all the people I railed against during my 21-month hiatus from the world. You'd think this realization would've freaked me the fuck out, because conforming is not even something I'd realized I was doing as it happened. My new mindset snuck up on me completely out of the blue. What stuck with me after the initial shock is how comfortable I was with the whole thing.

Is this what getting older means? I find myself -- gulp -- trying to get ahead. It's something I think about now. The other day I got all excited because my boss told me I was doing a better job than expected and as such would be giving me extra responsibility earlier than the company's timetable called for. The fuck? Who am I and what have I done with Drunken Capps?

On a side note, I made an interesting find relating to the human psyche the other day. The necessary background info is that I have a management position at a sales and marketing company which calls for almost no clerical work. However, about once every two weeks I need to spend a half an hour making copies of shit I need to give to my employees. A couple days ago I was in front of the copier and and I noticed I had an erection. Then I realized I had an erection every time I was in front of the copier. At first I was at a loss as to why this was, but then I realized it's because when I was 18 I had a temp job where I spent most of my days making copies next to some thirty-something woman I found extremely attractive. At such a tender age, this woman must have really left an impression on me, because as soon as I made the connection in my mind the other day it became instantly apparent that there could be no other explanation for the phenomenon. Ten years later and I still have this knee jerk physiological reaction. I dunno, I found it interesting.

Anyway...wow lemme take a step back from this nonsense for a second. I am goddamn drunk right now! It always happens this way...I decide to keep it chill with a night in, which invariably leads to a fucking alcoholic waterfall by the time I decide to blog for you fruits. In fact, I'd venture to say I get less drunk when I'm out in public. I should just always go out rather than stay in. It'd save me the hangover and requisite liver damage. If you thought these posts were pre-arranged you're kidding yourself. We're flying by the seat of our pants, baby! I hope you appreciate it.

OK, let's wrap this up. I just read this whole thing over and it's a fucking mess. Am I always this bad or can I claim cobwebs? Hopefully it's the wear of not posting for a long while. Regardless: something prescient about Drunken Capps being related to general responsibility and how it justifies the "clever" title The Wreckoning. Kill Yourselves.

Who wants to see INCUBUS this summer?

I'm sure there are some of you out there that don't like Incubus because they're not on TRL or whatever obnoxious vehicle you kids get your music fixes from these days. That's hogwash. Roughly 15 years in the game and Incubus remains one of the best rock acts out there. Also, they put on a great show. It just so happens they're touring the US this summer promoting their greatest hits album set to drop next month. I already have a group of six together to see the show in Philly on August 8th. It's only $45 for general admission at the Festival Pier at Penn's Landing, meaning anyone who wants to join can purchase their tickets separately and get in on the fun. Think about it: summertime outdoorsy drunken music listening. What's not to like?

And to whet your appetites, especially those unfamiliar with the band, here is their new single Black Heart Inertia. Enjoy.

Blackout 2!!!

It's been 10 years since Red & Meth's classic album. Now they're back for round 2. This is A-Yo, the first single. Nails.

Rejected Cartoons by Don Hertzfeldt

Tip o' the hat to Lee at Three Rivers Philosophizer.

Are You There Jah? It's Me Ras Trent...

Recently, I downloaded The Lonely Island's Incredibad album. Chances are you're not familiar with them. The Lonely Island is the comedy/music troupe comprised of Andy Samberg (of SNL fame) , Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer. They're best known as the collective responsible for Saturday Night Live's SNL Digital Shorts. Dick In a Box, Lazy Sunday, I'm On A Boat, and many others have become a part of pop culture reference. With the release of their CD which includes the audio versions of these hilarious offerings, The Lonely Island has introduced themselves to a wider audience.

The disc runs 19 tracks long, many of which have been featured as digital shorts. Admittedly, there's a disconnect in popularity between audio and video versions. For instance, Dick In A Box is by far the most well known digital short, as well as the most accessed Youtube video. However, in solely audio form, other shorts that perhaps went overlooked now get a chance to shine on Incredibad. My favorite is Ras Trent, an Andy Samberg exclusive that finds him discovering Selassie, and embracing Rastafarianism in a side-splittingly crackerish manner.

The Incredibad experience is one worth having, regardless whether you're an SNL fan or not. At a time when many consider the show irrelevant or past its prime, it's refreshing to see at least one element breathing life into what, in my opinion, remains a comedic network institution. Enjoy Ras Trent by clicking the link immediately below this paragraph. The Lonely Island's website, which I highly recommend for it's various original multimedia experiences, is accessible via the link at the bottom. Enjoy.

The Lonely Island - Ras Trent

The Lonely Island Official Website

Cookie Monster goes in hard

What the deal is

I was watching Ahnold in Raw Deal this afternoon. In it, his wife gets drunk, upset, and bitchy, and throws a birthday cake at his head. Ahnold responds, "You shouldn't drink and bake." Suffice to say Raw Deal has been overlooked by many Schwarzeneggar fans. Gangster. Anyway, I decided to celebrate my free night at home by going to the liquor store and purchasing the cheapest, largest bottle of scotch available. Dewar's White label it is; ugh. Beggars can't be choosers though, as I'm told. Once I'm super rich, I'll never talk to any of you again be able to purchase much more expensive and desirable alcohol. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these drunken and superfluous rantings. One thing I can tell you is that I'm working on a brand new song. This is a Corleone exclusive and not a Bastard Sons collabo, not surprisingly. Unlike previous "promises" it seems this track's actually coming into fruition. Stay tuned.

And that's pretty much it. This very well might be my lamest post; perhaps my level of intoxication isn't befitting of my audience. Perhaps you're not drunk enough to comprehend the genius of these musings. Regardless, make sure to offer big ups and congratulations to my main homegirl VLo , who had the audacity and bravery to abstain from alcohol for 50 days. Sweet Jebus -- I literally shook as I typed that!

Check it: http://50dayssober.blogspot.com/