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Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Darth Vader doing the Thriller dance
This is the type of dancing Raz and VA could agree on if they ever got married.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Random Related Realization
I kinda feel like most people nowadays have taken Madonna for granted. She's over-saturated and old as dirt. She married Guy Ritchie, immediately ruined his ability to make awesome British gangster flicks, and mysteriously developed an overnight British accent of her own. She "found" Kabbalah and managed to turn it into a trendy Hollywood religion. Yet, take a look at this SNL clip from 1991. Madonna was smokin hot!!! Next time some old geezer corners you with some story about how things were better in the good ol' days when he walked to school in two feet of snow, uphill both ways, and you young whippersnappers have no sense of history or reality, heed his words and remember that fake stupid old bitches were once gorgeous centers of the universe. Also, Mike Myers and Dana Carvey are comic geniuses. Enjoy.
Indubitable Datum
Kristen Wiig is the hottest cast member in the thirty-four year history of Saturday Night Live. Count it.
Hello Again, and, The End of an Era
Hi there. It's been more than three weeks since my last post. I was in Italy with some fam for the first two weeks of that hiatus. The trip was pretty awesome, as I'm sure you'd imagine. We stayed in a Tuscan villa on top of a secluded mountain outside of Arezzo. There were day trips, good food and lots of great wine. It was definitely an experience. I got back last Saturday, the 7th, but haven't bothered to post anything on this site for various reasons. Chief among them is the fact I've been piss drunk most of the time.
I know what you're thinking. What else is new, right? I do this type of shit all the time. That's true, you're right. It goes deeper than that though. You see, I've been languishing in this rut of mine for some time now. In fact, I can't remember a single completely sober day I've had in more than a month, and I've been doing this shit for years. That got me thinking about things, which led me to an important decision: I'm giving up drinking.
Go ahead and laugh. I'd probably be doing the same were it not for the fact this is my life we're talking about here (Jameson check: "It's my life!!!"). So by the time my trip was nearing it's end I realized I needed to make a change. I came home and have been on a mission to rid my home of all its alcoholic remnants. One straight week at near breakneck pace and my mission is nearing its end. All the beer is gone. The wine has long since vanished. And of all the bottles of liquor I've managed to accumulate through various means, all that's left is this fucking bottle of tequila blanco I'm drinking now.
It's after 2am early Monday morning and the bottle is about 40% full. Ironically, after all this I don't even want to be drinking right now. Normally, I'd just give up. I abandon goals for myself all the time. But that's exactly the problem with being a drunk -- I've lost my drive. So for just this once I'm going to follow through. Once this bottle is finished, a new me begins. Hopefully with my head on straight I can move forward with my life, you know, like a normal person.
So again, go ahead and laugh. I want you to tell me I can't do it. I think maybe I need to hear that in order to keep my promise to myself, at least at first anyway. If there's one thing I'm sure about myself, it's that spite drives me. I will prove you all wrong. Day One of sobriety begins tomorrow. I'm not saying it'll last forever, but it will be for a significant period of time. It's the end of an era. The time for change is now. Cheers.
Post Script: I just read through this post and felt the need to apologize for its somber tone. I realize that's not what people come here for, providing I still have any readers after leaving you high and dry for the better part of a month. Fuck that though. If you aren't entertained by something just ignore it. No one's putting a gun to your head, unless you live in a third-world country in South America. Then it's likely someone is actually putting a gun to your head. It's probably those bitches who own Cafecitos Pub. Regardless, things are bound to return to normal pretty soon. Though, I will have to teach myself how to do things like blogging sober. So keep coming back. We can make it happen!
Post Post Script: Two nights after winning a few hundred bucks due to Kobe Bryant's lack of three-point shooting prowess, I lost a few hundred bucks tonight because of Sasha Vujacic's lack of three-point shooting prowess. God damnit, Vujacic. All I needed was for you to score eight measly points tonight. Instead, you go 2-10 from the field including 0-5 from beyond the arc. Jesus Christ, someone needs to tell this guy having a shooting touch is a requisite for white guys in the NBA. Fuck me. And you wonder why I drink.
I know what you're thinking. What else is new, right? I do this type of shit all the time. That's true, you're right. It goes deeper than that though. You see, I've been languishing in this rut of mine for some time now. In fact, I can't remember a single completely sober day I've had in more than a month, and I've been doing this shit for years. That got me thinking about things, which led me to an important decision: I'm giving up drinking.
Go ahead and laugh. I'd probably be doing the same were it not for the fact this is my life we're talking about here (Jameson check: "It's my life!!!"). So by the time my trip was nearing it's end I realized I needed to make a change. I came home and have been on a mission to rid my home of all its alcoholic remnants. One straight week at near breakneck pace and my mission is nearing its end. All the beer is gone. The wine has long since vanished. And of all the bottles of liquor I've managed to accumulate through various means, all that's left is this fucking bottle of tequila blanco I'm drinking now.
It's after 2am early Monday morning and the bottle is about 40% full. Ironically, after all this I don't even want to be drinking right now. Normally, I'd just give up. I abandon goals for myself all the time. But that's exactly the problem with being a drunk -- I've lost my drive. So for just this once I'm going to follow through. Once this bottle is finished, a new me begins. Hopefully with my head on straight I can move forward with my life, you know, like a normal person.
So again, go ahead and laugh. I want you to tell me I can't do it. I think maybe I need to hear that in order to keep my promise to myself, at least at first anyway. If there's one thing I'm sure about myself, it's that spite drives me. I will prove you all wrong. Day One of sobriety begins tomorrow. I'm not saying it'll last forever, but it will be for a significant period of time. It's the end of an era. The time for change is now. Cheers.
Post Script: I just read through this post and felt the need to apologize for its somber tone. I realize that's not what people come here for, providing I still have any readers after leaving you high and dry for the better part of a month. Fuck that though. If you aren't entertained by something just ignore it. No one's putting a gun to your head, unless you live in a third-world country in South America. Then it's likely someone is actually putting a gun to your head. It's probably those bitches who own Cafecitos Pub. Regardless, things are bound to return to normal pretty soon. Though, I will have to teach myself how to do things like blogging sober. So keep coming back. We can make it happen!
Post Post Script: Two nights after winning a few hundred bucks due to Kobe Bryant's lack of three-point shooting prowess, I lost a few hundred bucks tonight because of Sasha Vujacic's lack of three-point shooting prowess. God damnit, Vujacic. All I needed was for you to score eight measly points tonight. Instead, you go 2-10 from the field including 0-5 from beyond the arc. Jesus Christ, someone needs to tell this guy having a shooting touch is a requisite for white guys in the NBA. Fuck me. And you wonder why I drink.
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