A Great Day To Be Alive

I actually didn't drink last night. I know! I watched a bunch of television, checked out a couple movies, played a respectable amount of freecell and solitaire, and, at the end of the night, got in bed and began a book. The problem with someone in my position not drinking is that you can't settle in to read the meanderings of an alcoholic writer and expect to not drink. I stuck with it for awhile, but by eight in the morning I couldn't take it anymore. Having not slept yet I cracked my first brew at a quarter after. Now I'm writing to you. I figure I'll imbibe leisurely until I'm tired enough to pass out. Hopefully that works.

Update: It's 10:47 and I've officially ran out of alcohol. Just returned from an adventure to purchase some beer and wine. Only problem is the damn store isn't open yet. Man, what does a brother have to do to get his drink on?!? Jesus give me strength! It appears this is the end of the road. Goodnight I guess.

Update Redux: It's 12:41pm and I HAVE PERSEVERED! I planned on throwing in the towel, sadly, after my failed expedition to the liquor store. However, when all seemed lost I stumbled upon some rum my roommate had stashed away. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I drank that shit. Fuck him anyway; he'll likely understand I need this. His Captain subsided me until the liquor store opened. I watched pre-recorded Jeopardy to pass the time. It was unfruitful, academically.

Noon passed and I made my triumphant return to the liquor store. I enjoy being out in public intoxicated and still awake from the night before. You walk amongst the savages and chuckle to yourself over your dirty little secret. It's one of the only situations in which I feel comfortable in my own skin. Anyway, I bought a six-pack and a bottle of Beaujolais. this should last me at least until I'm able to go to sleep, reawaken, and return to Yash Liquors.

On a side note, I had much difficulty completing my liquor store task. Nothing due to a lack of brain cells, mind you. I'm used to that. It's because I had no contacts in. I usually only wear my glasses at night, but my eyes have been bothering me the past few days. Now, I don't have a problem wearing my glasses out. This isn't a vanity issue. The problem is that I've had the same pair for at least ten years. They're mangled, crooked, and most importantly, missing the horizontal piece that curls around your ear on one side (what is that called? It's not coming to me). And that, combined with my drunkenness among common folk is just too much to handle. So I went to the store without them. I guess it wasn't that much of a problem, but man, I'd be really interested to have a camera crew follow me around in these situations. I must have been deciding on wine and beer with my face an inch from the bottle. What the guy behind the counter must have thought...

So that's my story. At least so far, anyway. I doubt I'll post again today but who knows. And by the way, I know the Top 5 Hangovers piece I promised is overdue. It's still pending. I have a hard time concentrating most of the time, especially when something becomes a bonafide deadline. Also, I haven't been drinking much the past couple weeks, believe it or not. You all know by now that I can only do this shit (or anything) drunk, so bear with me. Cheers.

Johnson & Jonson

You've likely never heard of these guys. And I'm sure you're unfamiliar with Blu. Trust me though, that won't last. Dude is one the the hottest newcomers in a long while. Listen to my man kill this track and then try and disagree. Didn't think so.

Pluck Yew

Can I Live?: A cross between Chuck Klosterman and Charles Bukowski

So says my good friends at PerfSpot.com. This is quite the compliment. And I would know, I looked it up. For those not in awares, this fine website you're currently perusing was recently featured on their site. Apparently, the mixture of randomness, misogyny, and references to alcoholism is just what the doctor ordered. Can you blame them? I'm the shit! But seriously, your boy is taking off. Big time. This opportunity has re-energized me. I would love to get paid for something I already do for free. Now if only I could find a way to be rewarded for masturbating, watching television and sampling assorted spirits.

Various collaborations are in the works with PerfSpot for the future. You can look forward to artist features, interviews, assorted articles and more shit jockin' the fantastical nature of my genius here on Can I Live?, all involving yours truly. You really should check it out. (As of the date of this writing, you can find my feature a couple pages down the music outlet section.) Plus, you can expect the same level of drunken ridiculousness you get from me on this site. I made it a point to put it in my contract.

Quick side note: I wish people could see how long it takes me to type these posts. I'm almost always too drunk to type, let alone put cohesive thoughts together. It takes me forever. Take tonight for instance. The time stamp you all see on the site is from the moment I open a new post. In actuality, it's probably gonna take me more than a half hour to get through all this. That's because I 1) can't type worth shit, 2) need to constantly backtrack to fix mistakes, 3) don't have the mental fortitude to follow what I'm writing about, and 4) must go back and reread what I've just written on an alarmingly regular basis just so I can put a consistent thought together. It's a real pain in the ass.

Anyway, please don't let that deter you. Charles Bukowski, as it turns out, is someone I should probably consider an influence and hero. His shit is hilarious and amazing. If my writing could be even a fraction as poignant as his I'd be more than satisfied. I'm considering taking a series of dead-end jobs, making it a point to sleep with loose and immoral women, drinking (more) profusely, and sending a bunch of treatments to just one publisher out of spite. Hey, if it worked for him, why can't it do the same for me?

*** Up next: Top Five Hangovers. This will hopefully be a good one. Look for it sometime mid-week.

It's Gettin' Better (Man!!)

Finally, those Americans I might consider honkies didn't fuck it up for the rest of us. Sound bitter? That's because I was bitter. Not anymore; now it's your turn. Please don't get it twisted, though. I'm proud to have no party affiliation. I've voted both ways based on what's best for the country as a whole. I'm just happy I don't have to hang out with my parents as often just for the free booze. My man's gonna turn this thing around! Enjoy the celebratory tune below.

Oasis - It's Gettin' Better (Man!!)

PerfSpot: A social networking site

Howdy folks! Recently I've begun working in conjunction with PerfSpot, a rapidly growing social networking website with many unique and interactive features available to users. Of special interest to me is their music section. Here you can get the latest music news, discover new artists, create playlists and stream audio content. If you're like me, and have an insatiable thirst for new and different music, you'll want to check this out. I've begun working with their music director, and you'll be happy to know Can I Live? will be featured regularly on the site. We're still working out the details, but this can include links and discussion to content on my blog, guest playlists from yours truly, and features on artists I enjoy. I'm already working with Matt, the director, on an article for Oasis' new album. So how about showing me some support and checking 'em out? Create an account as well. I doubt you'll be sorry. Go ahead and click the link below. Later, gators!

PerfSpot.com