The first thing you have to understand is my friend V.A.'s parents were huge Crocodile Dundee fans. I mean gigantic. They saw that shit in 1986 and fell in love. They not only fell in love with Paul Hogan (who couldn't?), they not only fell in love with pulling huge knives on muhfuckas ("That's not a knoife, this is a knoife!), those two crazy kids fell in love with the female lead of the movie. You see, Linda Kozlowski achieved her breakout role in '86. Sure, she'd been in some television roles, but never before had the silver screen bore witness to such...perfection. V.A.'s parents saw this; their lives were changed forever.
I'm sure you're wondering where I'm going with this. Just relax. Here's the deal in a nutshell: Crocodile Dundee slew the competition in '86 and '88. Linda Kozlowski followed this up with an unforgettable turn in Almost An Angel in 1990. V.A.'s parents were definitely hooked by this point. It was around that time they read some insider information stating Ms. Kozlowski would be starring in a new detective drama titled V.I. Warshawski.
Now, of course V.A. already had a name; it was Virginia Allen. She had no form of abbreviation at this time. Once her family learned of Linda Kozlowski's next starring role, however, - the one that would propel her to super-stardom - they decided to make a drastic change. In the fall of 1990, Virginia Allen became V.I., her name being altered to mirror the greatest movie character in cinema history.
By the time V.I. Warshawski debuted in the spring of 1991, V.A.'s parents were distressed to learn Kathleen Turner had replaced Linda Kozlowski in the starring role. By this point, the family had gotten used to calling the ten year-old by her new abbreviated moniker. It was difficult for them to return to their old ways, but still it made little sense calling their daughter V.I. when the beloved Kozlowski had abandoned the role. It was at this point the name V.A. was born.
Much has been made of this story, its details referred to fondly though the main character prefers details remain hidden. Admittedly, I had some trepidation revealing it. I felt it necessary to respect the wishes of those most closely involved, but ultimately decided a greater purpose would be served by sharing it. It is quite the story, correct? I can't help but wonder how differently things might have gone. What if there was no Crocodile Dundee? What if they hadn't grown so attached? What if Kathleen Turner had signed on for this most famous role from the beginning? My friend could very well have been renamed Kathleen. We'd be calling her Koose. So many questions...one can only ponder.
6 comments:
You're an ass.
erroneous, her real name is Vasquez Alejandro Lopez, changed to V.A. Lopes when she arrived at Ellis Island 20 years ago from puerto rico. I dare you to provide evidence contrary to that. "Virginia Allen" thats ridiculous, what self respecting puertorican immigrant would name their beloved youngest of 17 something like that. Shame on you.
I always thought V.A. was an android sent from the future to kill G-web. Her name is actually V.A.-3000 sent from the year 2157. G-web as we all know, goes on to enslave the human race and must be stopped. V.A. fell under his charm and was stripped of the one thing which made her a machine, emotionless bloodthirst. She experienced human emotions, thus becoming human. And in the process, dropped the 3000 from her name. And everyone lived happily ever after, except G-web of course, who has gone into hiding.
everyone is wrong (except for v.a. because capps is an ass). her real name was Va, but, not knowing how to read, they simplified it to V.A.
That's racist.
Interesting version I must say!
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