Monday Morning Asshole

Hola, bitches. That's right, it's the triumphant return of Monday Morning Asshole. Why? I can't say. It just feels like time. Also, because I actually haven't encountered many assholes recently. As hard as that pill might be to swallow, tis true. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, it's somewhat difficult to experience human interaction when all one does is shift from the bed to the couch to the computer each day. No matter...I woke up this morning feeling like a hundred bucks (this is a good thing). I had family business to attend to, so I woke up at the ass crack of 1:30pm to get ready. In rifling through my drawers, I realized I'd failed to do laundry in a timely fashion. What can I say, cigarettes and nihilism occupy more time than you might think.

I settled on my Teens Against Tobacco Use t-shirt you see in the picture above. My favorite part about this shirt is the opportunity for comedic irony it offers while walking down the street smoking a cigarette. To me, irony is almost unparalleled in hilarity. It's understated yet in your face, smart and silly, admirable and ridonkulous. Great authors have employed it for centuries. Pretty much the only thing funnier than irony is Raz. Raz sucks. (Don't bitch, Raz...it's not a slogan for nothing. I don't make the rules.)

Anyway, yeah, you should see the looks on people's faces when they read my shirt, which they invariably do, then see me smoking a cigarette. It's equal parts humor, incredulity and disgust. Trust me when I say I am not one to draw attention to myself. The attention is a bit of a bugout, to be honest. Yet, I must say there's something invigorating about it.