The meaning of dreams

Psychology interests me. I disagree with people who dismiss the usefulness of this science, for the ability to understand and utilize it has real-world application in nearly every facet of our everyday activities. Like right now, for instance. It's 5am and clearly I'm drunk. Anyone who knows me could surmise that much. It's interesting how the correlation between my frequency of posts and frequency of drinking (or lack thereof) goes hand in hand. It's been fairly well publicized, in both my personal encounters and on this blog, how I've decided to "turn over a new leaf" and stop drinking. For an undetermined amount of time anyway. Well, many of you scoffed --and rightfully so. The fact of the matter is I've done quite well in these past six weeks...only been drunk four times including tonight. Note the time frame of my sobriety and compare that to my hiatus between blog posts. Psychology. Is it much of a wonder that now's the time I choose to get my thoughts out via les internets?

Anyway, the genesis of this post comes from a dream I had last night. First off, I've been dreaming a lot lately. Or rather, remembering a greater percentage of my dreams. This is abnormal for me. In this particular window into my REM-self, I was standing at a urinal, peeing. Everything seemed normal initially. I whipped it out and began to go. Only, I had no control over the direction or force over which my urine stream projected. Piss was flying every which way: both in and out of the urinal, on the wall, on me. Not only that, but my penis was huge, like a fire hose. Typing this out right now and reading it back, I'm not sure I'm conveying how surreal this picture truly was.

I must have woken up shortly after the dream, or else I would not have been able to remember it (All of us dream on a consistent basis. We have no recollection of the vast majority of these images. It's only the few we wake up shortly afterwards that get committed to memory.) I recall feeling out of place -- or uncomfortable, more like it -- because I had this indefinable empty feeling. I think I fell back asleep relatively quickly, but the ordeal was still with me when i woke up the next morning (read: afternoon). What did it mean? Was it nothing? Or something? I had so many questions. Like I said, psychology interests me.

After having time to reflect and gather my thoughts, I think this dream represents my subconscious fear that I am not in control of my own life. Perhaps my generous peepee size is a metaphor for the scope of my situation, or life in general. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. Who knows? The point is that dreams truly are a window into our innermost thoughts. It pays to pay attention. Psychologically speaking, I believe dreams are a way for our subconscious selves to communicate with our consciousness. If you don't pay attention, chances are you'll be at a loss. Not to say I'm not losing on a daily basis. Just saying...

Ah, fuck it. What do you think. Let a brotha know. If anyone still reads this blog, that is...