Mental Meanderings

• When you wake up in the morning with the shakes after a long night of drinking, a good cure is an ice cold glass of Chardonnay. Keep one chilled next to your bed, so you can down it as soon as you wake up. Takes care of the shakes and gives you energy to face the day.
• Random Whore: I like it when you place my penis inside your mouth. I understand you don't need to be doing this, and I appreciate it. Only, try to use less teeth next time. It'll make my walk home less painful the following morning.
• Nick Nolte and Gary Busey are the same person. As such, Jake Busey is the progeny of Nick Nolte.
• If you like cocaine and whores, go to Paraguay. It's really cheap, and there's not much else to do there.
• I saw a man on the street wearing a STOP WARS t-shirt. I asked him what his plan for the ensuing overpopulation problem was.
  
• You'd think with the amount of time, planning, effort and energy put into clothing and makeup decisions women wouldn't look so consistently stupid. You'd think, but you'd be wrong.
• Kurt Russell and Patrick Swayze are the same person. I don't know either of their children's names.
• Miranda Cosgrove is the next Miley Cyrus. Remember you heard it here first.
• If Beverly Hills 90210 can have a new show recreated, I think it's high time for another thirteen years of 7th Heaven.
• I met a female bartender last night who looked exactly like Dolph Lundgren. Spitting image. I busted out all sorts of Ivan Drago quotes. Strangely, she didn't seem to get it.
• What do you call a Chinese man who is unable to mourn the death of his wife? Unbereavable.

That's all I got. Be safe tonight, kids, and have a Happy New Year!