Paraguayan Anal Hammer Grab

Most of you are no doubt familiar with numerous international hammer games, namely Colombian Hammer Toss and Venezuelan Hammer Catch. If you are not, I strongly suggest you familiarize yourself with them. After all, there is such a thing as culture outside the confines of the United States. Try branching out, for Christ's sake. With this in mind, I'd like to introduce to you another South American pastime. Luckily for us, we have one of their own to explain this game to us.

Editor's note: The following article was written by Alistair, our Southern Hemisphere Blaxploitation Bureau Chief, exclusively for this website.

Rules of Paraguayan Anal Hammer Grab:

The two participants stand approximately 8 meters away from each other. The older participant always starts with the hammer. After the traditional opening ceremony of downing a litre of Rossi in 5 minutes, the participants disrobe and take their positions.

The Hammer Catcher leans forward and grabs his/her ankles. The Hammer Wielder takes aim and attempts to lodge the hammer between the ass cheeks of the Hammer Catcher. If the Hammer Catcher falls over or attempts to get out of the way, they are penalized 5 hammer strokes to the kneecap. The process is repeated, changing positions after each throw, until one of the participants reaches 100 points.

Scoring:

1 point: hitting ass crack, no lodge
5 points: lodging handle of hammer in ass crack
10 points: lodging hammer end in ass crack
15 points: lodging claw end in ass crack
50 points: hammer end is embedded in anal cavity
100 points -- Golden ticket: claw end is embedded in anal cavity. Automatic win.

There you have it, folks. Feel free to play at home