Father of the Year

Editor's Note: The following post is from official Can I Live? contributor Barnes. Bear in mind his daughter recently celebrated her first birthday.

My daughter and I went to the grocery today. While I was waiting for my deli meats I had to burp. As is the custom in my house I blew my burp at my daughter. I got the feeling that a fellow patron and her daughter were disgusted. My suspicions were confirmed when they verbally expressed their disappointment. Having absolutely no pride, I shrugged it off and moved on with my shopping. As I was closing up my shopping trip in the bread isle, my daughter was holding the shopping list so I was asking her what else we needed to get and she was babbling incoherently in that adorable way only a one year old can. When I responded to her babble in my best gushy baby voice, "Pussy? Who are you calling a pussy? If you're not careful you're likely to get knocked out." Sure enough the same mother-daughter combo popped out from around the corner hidden by the 6 foot high pile of english muffins. After hearing everything I had just said, the previously mentioned mother-daughter combo felt the need to again express verbally their disappointment. I responded in what I think was the best way possible, by saying with a smile "well....how do you know until you try it" ending it in an upward inflection, at the time I had know idea what that meant, but I hope they got home and were consumed by what I said. I like to think that's the sort of thing that will haunt them forever.