Goddamnit

Midway through my second bottle of wine earlier tonight I got an excellent idea. I was watching 101 Most Unforgettable SNL Moments on E! I was kind of hungry, so I decided to raid my pantry. After a quick perusal of my choices I settled on the last of my Easter candy, the chocolate bunny you see above this text. As an added bonus, I'd learned that chocolate is a wonderful pairing with many red wines, including the '05 Shiraz I was drinking (and those of you who know me know how much I love pretending to be "cultural"). Anyway, as I went to separate chocolate from wrapper I saw the absurd likening of an overly joyous Easter bunny. It moved me. Immediately my mind wandered to corporate meetings and artistic development committees (if they exist; fuck you, I'm drunk) fleshing out the happy mascot for their new line of Easter candy. Why is this bunny so happy? What was their thought process? What were they thinking?!?

My original plan for this post at that time was simply to upload this pic with the title of the post being "Just because, alright!" but, unbeknownst to me, problems would arise. I figured the operation would consist of me writing "Gaaaayyyy!!!" on a Post-it note, cutting it into the shape of a thought bubble, and snapping a picture. I borrowed my roommate's digital camera. This post would be quicker than a trip to Germany! Little did I know I would once again be foiled by technology. This shorter-than-a-German-scheisse operation became Operation Iraqi Freedom: too much time and energy for not enough fucking payout. It took me motherfucking twenty minutes to snap a couple sub-par pictures. Eventually I gave up, returning the camera to my roommate. Luckily he took pity on me, offering to finish the job. It took him literally twelve seconds, creating a final product way better than I could've dreamed up, let alone created myself.

If you're reading, Ruice, thank you. You are my hero (no homo). I'm extremely happy with the way it turned out. Still, I can't help but think about the absurdity of the situation. All this heartache just to make you people happy. I hope you are. You know what makes me angry? Things. THINGS MAKE ME ANGRY!