Welcome to the newest feature of Can I Live? I kinda just thought of this so bear with me. My plan is to identify and ultimately extrapolate upon a particularly noteworthy asshole each Monday morning, fresh for you 9-to-5-ers to feast upon as you loot and pillage your respective corporations of their collective lifeblood by refusing to be productive. I like it. So yeah...Monday Morning Asshole is all about choosing some nincompoop to showcase once a week for y'all to shat upon via les internets. I did a shiteload of research for this (read: spent 30 seconds) and came up with nothing, which means it must be a slow week for assholes. Eventually I decided to showcase yours truly for the inaugural column. After all, what better way to acclimate oneself with my fans, especially given my previous Goddamnit post, than to choose myself as the Asshole of the Week?
I know what you're thinking: someone of my Epicurean tastes being an asshole? Never happen. Not necessarily true, unfortunately. Ask your mom, she'll tell you. She'll tell you I'm the best she ever had; I'm better than your Dad, but I'm rambling. I'm still an asshole. More specifically, I am the incarnation of inappropriate behavior. It's not my fault, dagnabbit! I am, quite simply, a product of my environment. Regardless, plenty of decent citizens would not err on the side of caution in describing my antisocial tendencies. "Cunt" comes to mind for many of them. Fuck them. I am who I am and damn proud of it. Doesn't matter in the long run...congratulations. You are an asshole!
I know what you're thinking: someone of my Epicurean tastes being an asshole? Never happen. Not necessarily true, unfortunately. Ask your mom, she'll tell you. She'll tell you I'm the best she ever had; I'm better than your Dad, but I'm rambling. I'm still an asshole. More specifically, I am the incarnation of inappropriate behavior. It's not my fault, dagnabbit! I am, quite simply, a product of my environment. Regardless, plenty of decent citizens would not err on the side of caution in describing my antisocial tendencies. "Cunt" comes to mind for many of them. Fuck them. I am who I am and damn proud of it. Doesn't matter in the long run...congratulations. You are an asshole!
1 comment:
Kapps, good call on the asshole. Although I would have gone with Ray or Ron. But there are more Mondays to come.
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