I don't have much to say. Just wanted to drop in and leave something, considering most people bitch I don't post enough. You know who does post enough? Shampton. Shampton posts more than enough, I think you'll agree, once you check out his brand spankin new blog:
http://chris-hampton.blogspot.com/
It's more than worth your while. I'm not sure how much a while is worth, but Shampton will surely let you know. I hate when you pour that one final drink at the end of the night because, at the time, you can't gauge how drunk you are. Then you come to find out you're way drunker than originally anticipated. But you have an entire 12oz glass of scotch to drink. And surely, you're not going to allow said glass to go undrunk. So you sit there sipping it for what seems like ages, only to let what seems like hours pass by with hardly a discernible dent having been made. Finally, you start gulping straight scotch at nearly three am just so you feel as if you've accomplished something...another feat to cross off your bucket list. To make matters worse, you arrive home earlier in the night to discover your friend Barnes has made all sorts of alcoholic/pseudo-homosexual accusations against your person, and you just want to drink away the pain to prove that a) you'll not answer to any such alcoholic accusations, and b) you're not gay, damnit. Seem ridiculous? That's because it is. And I would know; I'm practically the puppet master in the macabre theater of ridiculousness.
It all boils down to making a decision to type whatever comes to mind regardless of how nonsensical it may seem. Psychiatrists use this with their patients sometimes. I believe it's called "freethinking". What you've just read, apparently, is my innermost and purest thoughts. Scared? Me too. I'd provide a link for sending donations right now, except you'll all be paying for my burden regardless once I'm officially a ward of the state. As it stands, I already wear pajamas all day while vegetating in front of the tube...so it shouldn't be much of a culture shock once I make the official move from my couch to the loony bin.
My only hope is that I'm able to hold it together long enough to enact a plan some close friends have hatched to run up a $1000 tab at Cafe 210 in State College, PA. And to be clear, these are college prices so reaching said goal would really be quite the feat. To learn more, join the Facebook group $1000 Tab at Cafe 210. If you're unable to do so, inquire within and I'll direct you accordingly. If there's nothing else, I'll just gulp down the rest of this scotch, giggle alone in my room for awhile, and call it a night. Adieu.
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6 comments:
Thanks for the shout out. I'm inspired by your three posts in one day...
if you want a real challenge, you should run up a $1000 tab at the choperia -- pansies
Um, didn't we come close? $700 or so at the Choperia one day? I almost did Paraguayan karaoke. Grant was so disappointed.
P.S. $700 with little thanks to you, I might add. Barnes, JD and myself put in all the real work. Go ahead and clean your vagina with all your "wedding plan" excuses. You need to get your priorities straight. What's more important, drinking with your friends or securing last minute details two days before tying the knot? I thought so...you know what you did. For shame!
unfortunately, although the bill was close to a million guaranies, that's still less than 200 american dollars
Curses.
actually it was over 2 million we had paid our first tab of 170,000 when the first waiter left
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