Thursday, April 24, 2008

Movie Deathmatch: Dolemite vs. Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son In-Law



(Ed. note: If your name is Alistair, consider this your wedding present. If that is not your name please disregard this Editor's note.)


Welcome to this site's first movie deathmatch. I will be pitting two movies against one another, comparing them in several categories to determine the better film. This time we'll be going with Dolemite and Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son In-Law. They're both blaxploitation classics from the '70s. Both star Rudy Ray Moore and both are made wonderfully cheap with ridonkulous kung fu fighting and lots of boobies. Should be close. Before the breakdown, allow me to give a brief synopsis of both films.

Dolemite - Dolemite is a poet, comedian and club owner. He is a pimp and a kung fu fighter. Loved as a hero by everyone in the community, Dolemite runs into trouble with gangster Willie Green, as well as the dirty cops associated with him. The fuzz plant drugs and stolen furs in his trunk, getting Dolemite sent away for a long time. In his absence, the streets grow worse as there is no one to keep them clean. The prison warden devises a plan to free Dolemite, offering to erase his record if he takes down the bad guys. Luckily, he's not alone. It's a good thing, too. Apparently everyone from the ghetto back then new karate. Everyone. With the aid of his strumpets, who are also karate experts, his main bitch Queen B, and a crackhead named Creeper a.k.a. The Hamburger Pimp, Dolemite sets out to clear his name by ridding the streets of his enemies. Gully!









Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son In-Law - The opening scenes of this movie are among the most absurdly entertaining I've ever seen. It begins with a ridiculously pregnant woman in labor. Her belly is the size of the rest of her body. She's in pain, her husband is freaking out, and the doctor's never seen anything like it. She gives birth to a fully formed 10-year old boy. The kid comes out wearing tighty whities! The doctor is having a heart attack, all servants and midwives bug the fuck out; it's total chaos. As is customary, Doc spanks the kid's butt to get him to cry. Instead the kid screams, "Ow, that hurts!" (Yes, he learned to talk in there as well). He proceeds to beat the crap out of the doctor for hitting him. When the father breaks it up, the kid points at him and says, "I know you. You're the one who stabbed me every night in my sleep!" and proceeds to go after his father. The mother stops him, and proclaims, "Your name will be Petey Wheatstraw." Queue the gulliest title sequence EVAR!!! It's a kickass funk theme song that sets the stage for the rest of the movie, which is basically the same premise as Dolemite, except it involves Rudy Ray Moore reneging on a deal he made to marry the Devil's ugly-ass daughter. But really, with an opening like this do I need to explain any further? Check for yourself below. It's eight minutes long but well worth it. Trust me.




Title - This one's no contest. Petey Wheatstraw wins in a landslide.


Cover - Those are the dvd covers pictured above. Dolemite takes it, if only for its cartoonish nature. And whores.


Acting - Petey takes this one pretty easily. The warden's acting in Dolemite is beyond reproach, as is pretty much everyone else's -- the director and producer in this movie are also principal stars alongside Moore, and I can't imagine either being real actors. It should be mentioned though that the actor who played Creeper a.k.a. The Hamburger Pimp delivers the best and most believable performance of a crackhead ever. Better than Pookie from New Jack City and the "I'll suck yo dick" crackhead from Menace To Society. That's right. Creeper is the gold standard.


Direction/Production - Neither movie sets the world on fire in these departments. Witness the many instances the boom mike appears in the shot during Dolemite vs. the slick moving car shots in PWS. They were made just two years apart, but that time seems to make all the difference. Petey wins again.


Costume/Set Design - Dolemite wins for costumes hands-down. Any man in his right mind would be jealous of Rudy Ray Moore in this movie, not only for his hoes but for his pimp suits as well. For the same token, the set design in the second film is way better...chalk that one up to better production, and a likely higher budget. By the way, Rudy Ray Moore is listed as the set designer on Dolemite, telling you all you need to know there. This one's a tie.


Action/Violence - Both movies have roughly the same amount of "martial arts" scenes, which are silly yet entertaining. Past that, Dolemite is a lot more violent. Except for one scene in PWS involving gangstas with machine guns taking out an entire crowd of mourners at a funeral, most of the truly bloody scenes appear in the first film. Also, the credits of Dolemite thank Chuck Norris; this movie is the winner.


Comedy - They're both so friggin hilarious, it's difficult to pick. Ultimately, PWS wins due to it's better production and story, not to mention how absurd the Devil's minions look: skinny-ass black dudes with afros, horns, and variously colored tights chasing the protagonists around the whole time.


Nudity - A no-contest victory for Dolemite, where you'll find titties all over the place. PWS was a major disappointment in this department; there was only one quick orgy scene right at the end. Plus, Rudy Ray Moore lost a considerable amount of weight between 1975 and '77, meaning his own boobs were a lot larger in the first movie. Titties abound, I'll tell you!


Music - The score for both was pretty damn funky. What puts Petey over the top is the original music recorded for it, which was more excellent than that of Dolemite. I recommend looking some of this shit up.


Lasting Influence - Dolemite. It may have lost many of the previous categories, but it came first and remains the biggest franchise of Rudy Ray Moore's many blaxploitation classics.


Overall Enjoyment - PWS made up in quality and cohesiveness what it lacked in violence and nudity as compared to its earlier counterpart. It was just better.


Conclusion - If you're keeping track, Petey took this one 7-4. Both movies are pretty similar, with Rudy Ray Moore playing essentially the same silly but endearing character, and in a similar storyline. Dolemite gets major props for coming first and setting the standard for future success. An unfortunate side-effect of this is the people in charge didn't have nearly as good a handle on what makes a movie good than they did in later films. There are numerous hilarious scenes in both, like when Scarface Willie, one of the main villains in PWS, sees Petey resurrected by the Devil for the first time and shits himself. Classic. So classic, in fact, that Lil Wayne chose his rap name from graffiti placed prominently in the final scene of Petey Wheatstraw. I recommend both movies to you guys. Check them out, and check this bonus trailer for The Human Tornado below. Enjoy!

6 comments:

alikerlin said...

Excellent review for two highly-underrated blaxploitation movies. people get too caught up in production and ridicurousness like that when the real gems are finds like these. superfly is hip, but gimme 'the human tornado' or either of these two any day of the week.

incidentally, when dolemite is "toasting", which is the style in which he does his rhymes, i don't think those were actors. the scene in the parking lot is classic with the four crackheads that i'm positive were real crackheads.

on a side note, speaking of nudity in the two of them, watch 'the human tornado' and you will be treated to a scintillating dream sequence where an old white woman waltzes through a room full of large black men.

cheers

alikerlin said...

for more info on rudy ray moore and all of his filmography and discography, check out www.dolemite.com

for blaxploitation in general, one of my preferred sites is www.blaxploitation.com

Justin said...

Nice investigative work, Al, and thank you for the kind words (first time for everything). You're becoming quite the key contributor to Can I Live? Any interest in becoming my Blaxploitation Bureau Chief? One can never have too many official titles. Also, Human Tornado is in my Netflix queue.

alikerlin said...

i'll be down on bein' your BBC, but i demand a coffee break every five minutes and some sort of drunken debauchery every evening at 5pm

Justin said...

We have a deal. Write something up, email it to me and I'll post it pending editorial review. Your official title will be Southern Hemisphere Blaxploitation Bureau Chief.

Andy said...

This is probably a massive shot in the dark, but do you have a source for that Lil Wayne factoid at the end?
It was recently mentioned by Red Letter Media on their review show Best of the Worst on Youtube.