Living. It's a bad idea, hence the title of this blog. Can I live? I don't know, why don't you tell me. Each day is a struggle to conserve the precious little remaining lifeblood I do have left. Using alcohol and my firm belief in social mores as weapons, I fight the good fight against leeches trying to eat my face. Ketchup, open-toes shoes, people with proximity disorders or other such misunderstandings about personal space limits, morons...the list goes on. You've got dumbass kids who don't know the difference between narcissism and nihilism. Me, personally? I'd be a nihilist if I wasn't so fucking narcissistic. God in my own eyes, bitches!
That's all you get this week because there's a bunch of shit I need to do in preparation for a weekend of drunken debauchery. I know it's a bit of a rant, and could likely have been better thought out and assembled, but I challenge anyone to disagree with any of it. Evil is out there, my friends! It's time to choose sides.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Speaking of proximity disorders and personal space limits...there's a guy in my fraternity who stands about two inches away from your face when talking to him. Even when you try to casually take a step back, mid-sentence, he'll scoot right back up. Haha you're right bro...social mores are at an all-time low.
friday bad ideas -- admitting that you're in a frat
Friday bad idea #2: Being in Paraguay, aka the home of the guy who faked the last golden ticket in Willy Wonka. He was exposed as a fraud, just like Al.
Friday bad idea #3: Not having a space jam coin.
Two things:
My brother brings up an excellent point Ive failed to make, close-talkers are terrible. They make me extremely uncomfortable.
Friday bad idea #4: Watching O Brother, Where Art Thou? I hate that movie almost as much as Al's face.
little do you all know that my space jam coin makes me impenetrable to all evil forces flowing from the haughty, close-talkers of the northern hemisphere. the south will rise again (or for the first time, i'm not sure)
Yeah, impenatrable or gay. It's debatable. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose. Write something entertaining and email it to me. What kind of bureau chief are you?!?
P.S. Jim, this olive branch extends to you as well. I'd like Can I Live? to be a symposium of gulliness -- with me as the keynote speaker, of course.
Post a Comment